NIGERIAN UNIVERSITY EXPERIENCE: ACADEMIC PHASE

SIDE NOTE: A few people have asked me why I don’t include private universities in my posts. It is because I do not know much about them and if I wrote something about the little I know of, they might hire assassins to come and collect me.

Second year is the year that students determine the academic history of the rest of their programme. It is the year when students cancel their unrealistic expectations of a First Class Honours (UNREALISTIC! I SAID IT), begin at the road to academic ruin or build blocks for academic prowess. Like the religious phase, the academic phase will be explained in groups but this time, without a parable before God begins to question my sanity.

Some students decide to take a lacklustre approach to their work in second year. These students party hard on weekends, nurse their hangovers on weekdays and cry on top of the world on result days. They are the “study from anywhere but campus students”, Students in Diaspora or NFA’s (No Future Ambition). Their class attendance ranges from 1-8 times per semester, their continuous assessment sheets are blank and they usually show up on exams day with a blank look on their face that suggests that they were given admission to the university the day before.They come up with insane excuses like "I had cancer, I gave birth, I travelled to the UK to pick up my Visa (Really?!?) or I've been ill". Runz girls and fraud boys belong to this group although, some come out with fantastic grades that might leave you doubting the existence of good in this world.

Like the Women of Faith hit single, some students sing “I’m trading my academics, I’m trading my grades, I’m laying them down for the joy of the church-and the ruin of my CGPA”. No shade to the gospel group. This is just for the students who throw their primary reason for coming to university away, and spend their whole time buried in church activities. God is an integral part for some but will definitely NOT HELP THEM (Louder for the people at the back!) if they don’t help themselves (there’s a bible verse for this?).

Some take their academics very seriously; end up with amazing grades but with a zero level of acceptable social interactivity. I don’t mean social interactivity in mindless partying and debauchery, but in the ability to form relationships and interact appropriately with other humans. Some are however successful in finding a balance between work and play. They are amazing. They are envied. They are slaying.

However, academics in public universities in Nigeria hover on the activities of enemies from within and without. Let me explain.

Enemies from within (also immediate causes of failure) in university, include the students themselves, other students, reliable internet connectivity or even as extreme as their guardian angel leaving to tan at some beach in St. Barth’s. (Yes, they need vacations too!)

Enemies from without (also remote causes of failure) include lecturers, who might lose exam scripts, demand money from students and horrible sex (don’t @ me) for good grades, or might mark them down for sharing a last name with an ex wife/husband or dead wife/husband. Enemies from without might also include typo errors, a sleeping departmental secretary, a lecturer with the wrong glasses prescription or the people from a student’s village, seriously pounding his/her picture (you won’t get this if you’re not Nigerian). This is why churches and fellowships are filled during exam season (especially on Wednesdays!!) because students understand that they need to bind, cast and cancel every enemy from within and without, yellow or red and long or short.  The main prayer point: I SHALL NOT BECOME A VICTIM OF WHAT I DO NOT KNOW ABOUT.

This post might have seemed too ACADA (brainy and intelligent) unlike my previous posts. I’m on holiday and my brain is working all of a sudden.

 A big thank you to y'all who have been reading my posts! The feedback is honestly overwhelming. I've got lots of people clapping for me even when I don't feel like clapping for myself. Thanks for the comments, shares and the constructive criticisms as well. Thank you to all my friends in university who have been reading! Thank you to my friends in the US of A who have been sharing with their friends! Thank you to my people in the UK who have been sharing with their friends! If you've got any suggestions for future blog posts concerning university, students or millennials, do send an email to eekwegbalu89@gmail.com or- nah my Twitter is too mad for y'all. If you don't like my posts, best believe that i'll be here for a long time. A long time is a long time.

Next phase, next week.