Why Are Men Not Allowed To Be Bisexual?

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First of all, men are trash.

Want me to say it louder for the mandem at the back?

???

Although the above has nothing and everything at the same time to do with my article, I just needed my daily reminder that my species have issues and that I owe it to the world to sort out the little I can from my white-walled corner. Are we clear now?

So Bisexuality. I know some people are already triggered but Glory be to God because this is the day he has made and we shall be glad in it because we’re going to talk about this today.

Bisexuality as we know is a sexual orientation where an individual is sexually attracted to both binary genders and which y’all swear doesn’t exist or is a subterfuge for being gay or is a thing only women are capable of. I’ve been thinking about this since that episode of Insecure where Molly sent a guy to the dustbin because he talked about his experience with a guy a few years before meaning he was either bi-curious or bisexual. Now, this ideology is one men and women are guilty of mainly because the idea of a man being attracted to both male and female is an abomination with no clear-cut reasons or arguments and is a slight form of homophobia. I had a conversation about this with a much older and intelligent male friend over my bottle of Malt and his glass of red wine in the middle of a hangout with other people and here are the things we agreed on:

First of all, men are trash (He agrees). Why? Because they have created a society where girl-on-girl action is akin to the Holy Grail or the Holies of Holies as described in a part of the Bible that I clearly cannot recall. Women as all of us know and many of us still swear in denial, have been objectified and “fetished” beyond human reasoning by men. It is a commonly known straight-men fantasy to see women getting freaky with each other which is why porn histories are bleeding with sites of Lesbian porn. Even in marriages and relationships, women are expected to magically turn bisexual in a threesome situation as if sexual orientation changes immediately Peter Pan’s magical pixie dust lands on your face. Men suggest threesomes that are only plausible if their wives or girlfriends agree to bring in another woman which is most often done to please the disgusting egos of my species. I would continuously stan the women who would only bring a third person into the bedroom if and only when it’s another man. Women are mostly comfortable in their sexualities and are most times open to exploring the other side if there’s an itch and because men have made it acceptable, of course because it benefits them.

Toxic masculinity and societal expectations of men created by men with its embers still being poked by men, even after we’ve tried all possible things to put out this fire whose victims are mostly women, has put men in a box where being in touch with the most visceral parts of themselves that includes sexuality is almost impossible. If we could all agree, the men who have broken themselves from the yoke of toxic masculinity are better humans who are empathetic and feminist-feminist and not that pseudo-bullshit where men still run to their esoteric crowd of Bumbaclarts when issues of importance to women are brought up.

Men who identify as bisexual from what I’ve gathered in this short period after that Insecure episode are laughed at or ignored simply because a lot of us can’t grapple with the fact that a man can actually like a dick and a vagina at the same time and sometimes, even equally. They are called gay because people think it’s a fluke for hiding (there’s a truth to this claim) or because the word bisexual when it refers to a man means gay (and y’all would still come back and say you graduated with honours with your chests). We do not give room for men to be explorative in their sexualities because men are supposed to be linear and top to bottom (pun sincerely not intended) in the bedroom and this has very close ties with why men leave women unsatisfied in the bedroom because of the cages they’ve in put in which more often than not translates to putting something into a hole and slamming it to smithereens, without compunction or consideration to the woman with this hole.

A lot of women like Molly from Insecure are closed off to men swinging both ways because it sort of strips a part of the man which limits him from being a “full man”. I understand that for some women, their main concerns are that a man being bisexual means one extra gender to cheat on them on (Men, can you see the mess you keep creating for yasevs?) and that is entirely valid. But some of them are this way because of the image patriarchy has created and a lot of women are still privy to this system, created and still being promoted by men and as a result, do not condone bisexuality in men. I’m not trying to blame men but you see how all these still comes back to the society we’ve created? It is also not a woman’s job to poke you till you realize that you’re interested in exploring that side that you’ve always wanted to. Women have enough jobs already.

Because of the homophobia in most men even in cases where they’re homosexual themselves, it is confusing and unacceptable for them to come to terms with their bisexuality or stay or make friends with other men who are bisexual, because everything that includes platonic to sexual activities with other men is gay. Despite the fact that a staggering number of men are actually bisexual, they still would rather drink from a toilet than invite another man into the bedroom or choose to explore that other side of them. A lot of Nigerian men which is the country where I’m from would only nod in approval when their female partners agree to bring another woman into a threesome which sometimes forces that woman into an experience she really doesn’t want to. In the violent and shallow cruxes of their homophobia, men claim that girl-on-girl action should be free of homophobia because it turns them on and the other side to it is disgusting. Glory be to God.

Why are men not allowed to be bisexual? It is because of the society men have created where they cannot even hug their genders without someone batting an eyelid or realities where men don’t wipe their bums after using the toilet (please scream my dears on my behalf) because anything close to their butt-hole needs an emergency landing from the helicopters of toxic masculinity. Despite homophobia being the reason for an opposition to bisexuality, the much deeper worm is patriarchy.

Men should allow themselves to be fluid, to be free to experience their sexualities with other consensual adults without remorse or fear of their humanity being reduced to forms that they are not. Men should rewrite the reality they have created that girl-on-girl action is the Holy Grail and threesomes should only be with two other females and even if lesbian sex is their Holy Grail, it shouldn’t be a problem when their female partners tell them that guy-on-guy action is their Holy Grail and must be applicable in their bedrooms.

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